To be able and willing to change

Renewal becomes impossible if one supposes things to be constant which are not

Two quotes. One from Mother Julia Gatta, the other from James Baldwin

There are many benefits to praying the Office. Like all liturgical prayer, it is objective; its faithful performance does not depend upon our mood or creativity. The Office is available as an instrument of prayer even when we do not feel like praying or when we find ourselves utterly uninspired. It can carry us through long stretches of spiritual dryness. It can serve as an anchor when other aspects of our life are falling apart. It has held communities together during periods of divisiveness and strain. It puts words around the mere desire to pray, our simple need to connect with God. Above all, it unites us to the daily prayer of the church. -Julia Gatta, Life in Christ: Practicing Christian Spirituality

It is the responsibility of free men to trust and celebrate what is constant—birth, struggle, and death are constant, and so is love, though we may not always think so—and to apprehend the nature of change, to be able and willing to change. I speak of change not on the surface but in the depths—change in the sense of renewal. But renewal becomes impossible if one supposes things to be constant which are not—safety for example, or money, or power. One clings then to chimeras, by which one can only be betrayed, and the entire hope—the entire possibility—of freedom disappears.- James Baldwin,The Fire Next Time

We're a church that has been absorbed into the safety cult. Partly good intentions, partly the insurance company. We act as though being safe is a constant thing (Baldwin's insight). We've all seen the discussions about "safe spaces" on campuses and the polls showing increased numbers of people saying that they are afraid to say what they think. In many settings now the norm is to avoid saying anything that will make others uncomfortable. 

I wonder how much of the outrage over the loss of life in Gaza is connected to our collective fantasy about safety. "This just shouldn't be happening!" (Yes, yes, I also believe it’s a mix of horror over all the death and that it's often rooted in an organized campaign of anti semitism and seeking to deny the Jews a place) But there's also a vaguely pacifist spirit involved. A discomfort with the Just War theory and the international laws that have risen from that. We assume peace is the constant and war an intrusion. And yet, there's this --

"America Has Been At War 93% of the Time – 222 Out of 239 Years – Since 1776“, i.e. the U.S. has only been at peace for less than 20 years total since its birth." and "Of the past 3,400 years, humans have been entirely at peace for 268 of them, or just 8 percent of recorded history."

Okay, those are non-fact checked statements from my one minute Google search. But I'll bet they're close to reality. 

Another factor in the fantasy may be the relatively low death rates of Americans in our more recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan: Afghanistan -- 2,324 U.S. military personnel killed and Iraq- 4,576. Compare that to earlier wars - Vietnam 58,220, Korea  36,634. WW2 405,399 - More. Almost hidden in US media was the cost in civilian lives: in Afghanistan - More than 70,000 Afghan and Pakistani civilians are estimated to have died as a direct result of the war. (note:The United States military in 2017 relaxed its rules of engagement for airstrikes in Afghanistan, which resulted in a massive increase in civilian casualties.) In Iraq - between 280,771-315,190 Iraqi civilians killed by direct violence since the U.S. invasion.

I seem to have always seen the safety obsession as dangerous in the way it undermines the church's life and work -- needed conversations suppressed, friendships discouraged, a superficial grasp of the ethics around the use of force in society, and under it all a loss of how our life is bound up with the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. 

I have been wondering about this stance of mine. It's gotten me in trouble a number of times. It has caused pain in others when I do and say things that make them uncomfortable. And sometimes they respond with hostility and attempt to stop me from continuing in that stance. Where does that come from in me? Factors I'm aware of: on the one block I grew up on every father had served in WW2 and every mother knew of friends and relatives that died in the war, I grew up wearing uniforms from 8 - 21 (scouts, Army ROTC, USMC), there was a draft so I assumed I'd have to serve and like every other male I thought about the possibility of having to kill or die, I've had people come at me with knives and guns, I had a lot of education in history and national security, and my behavioral science training had a take on safety that was radically different from the current "safe space" thinking (see below), and my cancer in 2010 was supposed to kill me. It's all concrete stuff that makes it easier to "keep death daily before your eyes." And when growing up I had the support of my working class family even though it cost them something -- me getting married in a Black parish alienated all my father's siblings from him for many years; when the police arrived because of the complaints of neighbors about my Black friends being at my home, my father listened and then told them "Get the f___ off my property," and when my Socialist Party membership card arrived in the mail, my mother looked at me and said, "try to not get hurt." I bring all that, I bring myself, to the saying of the Daily Office. So, do you.

Because the charism of the Order of the Ascension involves the behavioral sciences I'll say more on the safety issue - 

In a recent Substack posting, "Parish Development is a Conversation" I wrote about psychological safety. If our parish development work is to be productive we need to make space for honesty and transparency.  Parishioners need to be able to say things that may make others uncomfortable. Michelle and I have conducted six parish meetings as part of a St. Clements 2040 process. We have used several standard group methods to enable psychological safety -- fill out surveys before talking about the topic in more depth, small groups, going-around-the-circle, a facilitator able to intervene to enforce norms -- are all ways of providing structure to the conversation.  Reliable structures and norms, used routinely, tend to produce  psychological safety. And that results in increased directness and freedom of expression. And valid and useful information produces free choice and free choice produces internal commitment (Intervention Theory). It is the opposite of the kind of safety we see in many places that reduces the willingness of people to share what they actually think and feel. Psychological safety is about freedom and productivity not about being comfortable. 

So, finally, back to the Daily Office. I'll bet you know where I'm going with this. There are these words and phases in Julia's quote -- objective; faithful performance, can carry us through, serve as an anchor, held communities together during periods of divisiveness and strain, our simple need to connect with God. If in a conscious or subconscious manner you assume that peace and safety are the constant you might come at the Office in one way. I think I largely experience it differently. 

• I hear of the Red Sea, the years in the wilderness, the taking over of the land, and the constant struggle to both hold on to the land and be a people of light and justice. 

• I hear Paul writing to churches in conflict and over accommodation to their culture

• I hear of Jesus, his suffering and death. 

For me, the Office keeps me connected with reality. I've always been struck by how Henri Nouwen understood one of the poles of spiritual life as being between illusion and prayer. 

In our daily Morning Prayer Sister Michelle and I follow an older tradition and always say the Benedictus Dominus Deus

The words that most touch my heart and give me hope are -

In the tender compassion of our God *

    the dawn from on high shall break upon us,

To shine on those who dwell in darkness and the

                             shadow of death, *

    and to guide our feet into the way of peace.

And the words that help me keep my feet on the ground are these -

This was the oath he swore to our father Abraham, *

    to set us free from the hands of our enemies,

Free to worship him without fear, *

    holy and righteous in his sight

    all the days of our life.

Commenting on saying the psalms, Mother Julia is generous about the committee that decided to make some verses optional. Then she nudges us away from our safety obsession.

Yet even these psalms can work for our benefit. They reveal us to ourselves: they exhibit our most hateful thoughts and sinister motives, which we usually keep under wraps. One way or another Scripture tells the truth. Here it holds a mirror up to us, unmasking the ugly side of human nature.

It's a nudge away from illusion and toward reality, prayer, and God. 

I read several Jewish writers regularly. I was moved when a couple of them wrote about how saying the psalms each day nurtures their perseverance and courage. 

It is the responsibility of free men to trust and celebrate what is constant—birth, struggle, and death are constant, and so is love,

Brother Robert, OA