That you may not become sluggish
All the days of Noah were nine hundred fifty years
I woke this morning lethargic, slow, listless. As the writer of Hebrews puts it -- sluggish.
We do Morning Prayer (MP) on Zoom at 7:30. And my eyes opened at 7:15. No time to shower and dress. But today I just had enough time to make a cup of coffee and turn on Zoom. Michelle began, “Lord, open our lips.” I groaned.
I had responses during our prayers.
The psalm - “my strength has failed me, * and the brightness of my eyes is gone from me.” (38:10) I grinned.
And Genesis – “All the days of Noah were nine hundred fifty years; and he died.” (9:29) How tired Noah must have been.
Hebrews – “that you may not become sluggish.” Hmmmm, yes, that’s a good word for the day. I looked outside - at the gray, cold, wet - and felt apathetic. When I finished the reading, I said to Michelle, “I wonder where “sluggish” fits in the Shape of the Parish model?”[1]
Prayers over - nap, leftover beef stew, only then the shower. I was losing hope in the day. The lazy instinct was taking hold.
I began to think about writing on sluggishness. My head went political. Go ahead, skip this next if you can’t stand anymore “political.”
Eat what’s on your plate
Excuse me now. I have a great need to yell at you. EAT WHAT’S ON YOUR PLATE!! I know you want ribeye with baked potato or maybe a fine vegan offering. Your choice today is between baked chicken with peas or a Big Mac with fries. Joe Biden does strike me as sluggish at least physically. Donald Trump strikes me as physically vigorous but spiritually sluggish.
Those who think the solution to these two sluggish choices is to vote for Nikki, Robert, Cornell, Jill, Joe or some other savior, who will not be physically or spiritually sluggish -- well, I think such people are mentally sluggish. Much of life is making do, doing the best with what is before us, EATING WHAT’S ON THE PLATE in front of you. Yes, I grew up in a working class home.
You can be sluggish, or not, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Okay, enough of that. Thank you for your patience and endurance.
Patience and endurance
I think the sluggishness that threatens and tests our hope is only effectively dealt with by patience and endurance. The Hebrews writer points us to Abraham who “patiently endured.” I do find the saints, ancient and close at hand, a help. More than just examples to follow but companions on the way. Friends even.
Walking
I walk most days after Morning Prayer. First to the coffee shop, then more walking before a stop at the market.
Every day when I begin walking I’m slow, sore, and yes, sluggish. And in that state, occasionally, I think I’ll be this way for ever. And then I’ve walked a first block, and my legs seem to be working, the pain is there but suppressed. And I feel hopeful.
Walking is a habit. Two miles/day. My doctor is impressed. Obviously mind, body, spirit and emotions are both independent and intertwined. For me the walking is a bit more direct in making the connection among the elements than other activities. Walking is my reflection time. Some reflection is task related. Whole pages of books or educational designs come to mind. The Spirit nurtures vocation. And other times the refection entices me to what I believe is a more immediate connection with the Divine Life. Into awe. An experience of being taken out of myself. For a moment into a larger, more merciful and generous life.
So, walking has become a spiritual practice. And I have learned. If with patience and endurance I walk that first block – I will be more lively and hopeful for the several blocks to Uptown Espresso. And if I walk after having my coffee – I will, often enough, find my mind filled with ways of assisting parish churches, and on occasion, my heart turned to flesh.
I cannot force myself to hope but I do seem to be able to walk there.
Just go on saying the words
In A Taste for Death, P.D. James has detective Adam Dalgliesh say, “My father was a parish priest. When I lost my faith he said, ‘If you find you can no longer believe just act as if you still do. If you feel you can no longer pray just go on saying the words.’ ”
It’s an act of humility and persistence. In this moment, during this year, I may be unable to believe. But even then I can say the prayers.
“John Macquarrie wrote that ‘the instinct to pray that is in all of us, it will finally bring us to faith in God.’ Referring to Michael Novak’s Belief and Unbelief, Macquarrie said, ‘[Novak] asks the very significant question, whether people do not pray because they do not believe in God, or whether they do not believe in God because they have given up (or never learned) prayer.’ This is in so many ways the crux of the matter. We can’t force anyone to believe, and our efforts to compel ‘good’ behavior are generally wrong-headed and ineffective. We can, though, teach people to pray.” From An Energy Not its Own: Three Cycles of Parish Life and the Purposes of the Parish Church, Heyne & Gallagher.
I wonder where “sluggish” fits in the Shape of the Parish model?
That was my question during Morning Prayer.
A short time ago Michelle and I said Evening Prayer. This time it was in-person using our phones. After that I offered an answer to my earlier question.
The passage was, “so that you may not become sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” (Heb 6:12). And I thought “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (Heb 11:1) You set out on the journey, and, with patience and endurance, you keep walking and you keep saying the prayers. You obey. You stay with the discipline, the practice. And because God is merciful, you get a glimpse of what has been promised. Your sore, stiff, legs seem to be working again.
What I said to Michelle was, “I think that it fits the model this way. If you are of Apostolic Faith or the near forms of Sacramental Faith (progressing or stable) – if you stay with the practices associated with those stages you will be restored in hope. You’ll have a glimpse of what was promised. Just enough that we may hope for the “better country” and “holy city.” In a pragmatic sense, the Holy Spirit uses the practices to save us.
But, by definition, if you are further out in the stages (immature, tentative, Christmas and Easter) – it will be harder. Because you don’t have as many reliable practices. And the ones you do have may be held with too light or too tight a grasp. Your lethargy, uncertainty and sluggishness may overwhelm hope. That’s why we stress formation in practices that fit a persons’ temperament, gifts, and circumstances.”
Anyhow, that was today’s thought.
This abides,
Brother Robert, OA
On the Feast of Antony, Abbot in Egypt
[1] More on Shaping the Parish model in Chapter 4 of Fill All Things: The Spiritual Dynamics of the Parish Church, Robert A. Gallagher AMAZON and in Chapter 3 of A Wonderful and Sacred Mystery: A Practical Theology of the Parish Church AMAZON