Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep

Give him my heart

Tis the season for – the affirmation of the chronically unhappy – the mocking of happiness – the proclamation of fundamentalism.

There are two large pastoral mistakes made by many clergy beginning in early Advent.

First, an inability to accept with pleasure, or at least resignation, the existence of the winter holiday alongside the Feast of the Incarnation.

Sister Michelle and I were in downtown Bellevue last week to hear a couple of political writers. As we approached the hotel, the streets were alive with light and sound, people going from store to store. Inside the hotel were gingerbread houses, large fireplaces, people gathered in the bar, music playing.  It looked like a lot more fun than listening to two journalists. People were enjoying their winter holiday. And yes, most on departing saying, “I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.”

The fact is that most American Christians happily celebrate Christmas in two ways – there is the winter holiday done during Advent and there is the birth of the baby. And they recognize that they are not the same thing but as they are not fundamentalists they have decided to enjoy the pleasures and ambiguity of it. But some clergy will feel a need to p _ _ _ in the well.

And second, denigrating the other Christmas

Let’s listen to Nat King Cole

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos

Really, how annoying!

We know that not everyone has such moments. And we know that in our own experience that “perfect Christmas” may be fleeting, just a glimpse and tiny taste – You know, like the kingdom of God. A bit of mercy and pleasure in the here and now.

Why to some clergy do this?

It may be driven by the personal unhappiness of some  of the clergy. – “I never had a great Christmas; my family life was awful.” They project their emotional world onto the rest of us.

Or maybe it’s an awkward and well-intended desire to include and affirm those who get depressed during holidays. When what is needed is not “get over it” or “I know how you feel”  nor “Yes, Christmas is all commercialism and phony joy” but letting the person know that you care for them and will listen to them, a willingness to accept them as they are, without judgment.  Instead we tilt the parish climate toward the most immature and miserable hoping that will somehow help.

The alternative

Celebrate both expressions of Christmas – enjoy the winter holiday and the Feast of the Incarnation.

Give thanks for all God’s gifts and mercies.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

So as to not avoid the suffering of individuals and whole regions, be sure to sing that lovely Anglo Catholic hymn.

In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron

And note it’s response to our pain and struggle – “Give him my heart.”

And so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways, Merry Christmas to you

Brother Robert, OA